Since before my sexuality came to the surface, I've felt a certain affinity to the idea of sex organs as power centres.
As I grew into a sexual being, I strove to draw from my partner the tremendous energy that I could feel, vibrating there, barely contained within the lingam. Call it gnosis if you will, but the combining of two entities to share energy and gain a power that neither could ever acheive alone is the primary goal of all my sexual exploits. There's just a lot more to sex than the old in-out.
I have never experienced anything quite like it before or since.
Despite my general scepticism of people claiming communion with the gods, there was something to be said for the energy which flowed through the room, through our bodies, from one spirit to another and back again.
At times, the energy mingled freely, building and compounding, stretching towards a moment of oneness. At times we struggled for control of that energy, giving one moment, then taking the next, grasping not just at flesh but at one another's essence and self.
The magician had gathered there the gods of whom he requested favourable attentions. I had listened closely as he called for the attendance within the carefully struck circle of things both fearful and wonderful. My job was simple: to generate energy. I never enquired as to what purpose the energy would serve. I trusted that his purposes were not counter to my interests.
Candles flickered when I arched my neck, the light that came through my eyelids faltering a moment, reminding me not to keep that energy for myself but to surrender it to the greater cause.
Warmth burst not just from sex organs but from every extremity. My fingers trembled slightly as I wove them into his, briefly touching fingertip to fingertip, aware of ten circuits completing, of a connection less superficial than our skin betrayed. Lips barely touching but buzzing as though they'd been busy for hours. Aligning foreheads, noses, lips, chins, breasts, abdomens, pelvises, each point of contact hyper-sensitive.
Colours danced in my periphery and my senses challenged the integrity of that which they perceived. The walls of the temple seemed to shimmer and shift outside the bounds of our circle, imitating the wavering of the air above a flame. The energy that built around us consumed me, feeding off me as I fed off it. With one deep intake of breath from the organism we had created, the energy dissipated all at once, channelled into whatever place it was being sent and we returned to our individual selves, breathless and wet from exertion, but oddly alert and energetic.
I was high for days afterwards. My head floating, but not in the clouds, instead clear and sharp-witted. Everything I saw gleamed with a newness, an aura of power that I felt I could just reach out and grasp.
My mood has never before or since been so consistantly good for so long. I hope I adequately thanked the gods for that. Remind me to pour a bit of my next drink out, as a particular thanks.
